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Home School Struggle
My son is lonely on his own. He absolutely adores other children and thrives in a group setting. I again also enjoy my work from home commitments and have loads of patience with all things non-human. So, with the above in mind, I found that with a child who would rather be in a school environment and a mom with little patience - that it only spelt "frustration" and eventually would lead to an unhappy child. Not that I didn't try. I increased our socializing, which meant that we were busy every day of the week with some social activity or play date. This left me exhausted and eventually close to burn out as I still had a toddler to attend to, a house to keep and work commitments. The end result? I realized that although the desire was there, that I just didn't have the patience to teach my young son and the more frustrated I got, the more frustrated he got and the less he enjoyed being home schooled. My husband has always supported my decisions but in his heart he has not been 100% sure that home schooling was the best option for us. When I mentioned my difficulty, he immediately said that if it was up to him that he would send our kids to school. My son was thrilled when I finally agreed to send him to school. How did it make me feel? Sad. This was not exactly what I had in mind. I was going to be this stay at home, frugal mom, who taught her own children, grew her own vegetables, complete with worm-farm and compost heap. But home schooling is a huge step to take and you need to be 100% sure that it is what is best for your family and you definitely need your husband's complete support. I still think of myself as a "home schooling mom" - as I home schooled my son in his preschool years and I plan on doing the same with my youngest. But I have made peace with the fact that perhaps I must keep my teaching to painting, shapes and singing the alphabet. I made peace with the fact that it is OK to change direction and reassess your situation because we all have different strengths. Children too are different and what works for the one won't necessarily work for another. So now I feel liberated in knowing that I can be the best version of ME. Concentrating on my strengths and admitting my weaknesses can only make me be a better mom for my boys. Our home is definitely more peaceful now and not fraught with frustration. So perhaps I made the right decision in the end - a decision that is not based on what I want but on what would be best for all of us. And the beauty of it all?
Blessings!
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